What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

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Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Why am I so wanting to suck a penis?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Yes sir it is.

After a few moments he returns.

Did you swallow cum the first time you sucked a penis?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Sure no problem officer.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Why are men today so pussiefied?

{RING} {RING}

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

My friend asked my crush and he said my crush hates me but not in a rude way. What does that mean?

HELLO

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.